


We Are Gods

by zora (nico_neo)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A little, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Character Study, Gen, M/M, mcd and i'm never doing it again i swear, of the twins dynamic again, this is the saddest thing i've written i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nico_neo/pseuds/zora
Summary: This is where they were now. Two bullets left but only one to use. One gets to leave but the other has the burden to stay.[Miya Twins Week day 3: apocalypse AU (a bit of day 2: separation)]
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68
Collections: Miya Twins Week 2020, SunaOsa





	We Are Gods

**Author's Note:**

> I just realized that somehow can be a mix of day 2 separation and day 3 apocalypse AU so let's settle with that kjsdn
> 
> First MCD and uh, no, never doing it again. I can't. No.
> 
> Mentions of blood! Character Death! Guns!
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Atsumu wasn’t supposed to overhear this conversation.

Atsumu shouldn’t have overheard this conversation. He should have continued his way. Or, should he?

What was better between knowing your group of friends - your family - was planning to abandon your twin brother, or not knowing your family was planning to abandon your twin brother and realize it too late? Atsumu didn’t know.

They were hiding in some old prison they purged out of walkers a few days ago - Atsumu hadn’t counted… maybe three. It hadn’t been an easy task, they had been definitely outnumbered and Atsumu had found himself believing that that was it, they were going to die here.  _ He _ was going to die, bitten to death by that ugly ass walker running to him with the mere goal of chewing his blood dripping flesh. 

Until Osamu got in between the gray walking corpse and Atsumu, and slashed his head with the machete he had found on his way in the forest, maybe a week ago. Osamu had turned to him, an angry look on his face and Atsumu had thought that if he could have knocked some sense back into him with his bloodied blade, he would have.

“What the fuck are you doin’?!” he had screamed over the growls and grunts and screams of their friends. “Move yer ass Tsumu!”

Atsumu had seen it, the running cadaver behind Osamu, rotten mouth wide open and ready to bite. His eyes had widened, and he could only utter a “Samu!” before the teeth closed around his twin’s trapezius muscle, in between his shoulder and neck.

Osamu’s face had been weird. A mix of pain and surprise, as he tried to get free. And finally, Atsumu had moved, his hand lifting his own machete to pierce through the walking dead’s mushy skull and brain. It fell dead on the floor, but the only thing Atsumu could see was Osamu. The space was clearer around them, Kita, Suna and Aran had killed most - if not all - the walkers, and Atsumu frantically, desperately called for Shinsuke as his hand was compressing the wound over Osamu’s own, weaker hand.

His twin had simply utter a “fuck” before his knees gave up on him and Atsumu caught him in his arms.

It’s been three days - or maybe more, maybe less - since the incident. Osamu was kept apart in one of the cells, a bit further away from where they were sleeping. They were treating him - Suna was treating him - and Atsumu spent nearly all his days with Osamu. He was paler and his eyes were bloodshot, the dark circles under his eyes seemed deeper… but that was all. He was still Osamu. Why would the others want to abandon him? He just needed time to heal, so why?

He opned the metal door of what was surely a former office. It banged on the wall with an astonishing sound. They all turned to him. Shinsuke and Aran were properly looking at him, though Aran was the one showing the most surprise at him being here. Both were standing in the middle of the room. Rintarou was sitting on the lonely, dusty desk, his legs swinging above the dirty floor. He only spared a quick look at Atsumu before looking back at his hands on his lap. Atsumu was glaring at the two olders. He could feel his blood boiling.

“What the fuck,” he growled. “I heard it wrong, right?” he asked.

Ojiro and Suna had at least the decency to look guilty. Atsumu felt betrayed. He threw daggers at Kita with his eyes. “You can’t abandon him.”

“It’s dangerous to keep him with us, Atsumu,” Shinsuke said, turning properly towards him. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Well, too bad, I did.”

On any other day, it would have come as a snarky remark. But today, and after what he heard, he only hoped the venom lacing his words would burn Kita’s skin. “And I don’t see why it’s dangerous to keep him with us, as you say,” he added. “He’s  _ fine _ ,” he growled. “He just needs to heal, why are you talking about -”

“Atsumu.” Rintarou called him. And when Atsumu looked at him, his friend only shook his head. His usual bored eyes had turned sad? hopeless?

“He’s doin’ fine, Rin! You saw it yerself!”

Suna only swallowed, and shared a look with Kita and Ojiro. It’s Aran who turned to him. “He’s turning, Atsumu.”

Turning? Like one of those monsters out there? No. Osamu was not. He was not a monster. He won’t become like those. He’s doing fine and healing, right?

Atsumu hadn’t noticed the tears falling down his cheeks until he tasted salt on his dry and dirty lips. “No,” he uttered, voice raspy as if he’d smoke an equivalent of ten years of cigarettes in only a few minutes. “He’s - he’s fine. He’s healin’ and watch out Aran ‘cause before you know it we’ll -”

“Atsumu,” Kita cut him off. Again. “He’s not. And I’m sure he knows it too. We can’t take him with us.”

“And where are we even goin’?!” Atsumu shouted. “We just purged this fuckin’ place like three days ago and ya want to leave already?”

“Atsumu,” Rintarou again. “We’ve been here for a week and a half. We don’t have enough stocks to stay here, we need to leave.”

A week and a half?

“What?” he whispered. Suddenly, he felt drained. He didn’t have strength anymore, as if it had been sucked out of him. Maybe he has been bitten too. Osamu. He needed Osamu.

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Shinsuke spoke again. “It’s what’s best, Atsumu. Say goodbye.”

Kita was the first to leave the room, without another word. His decision was final. Aran followed, putting a hand on Atsumu’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Atsumu weakly shrugged it off and glared at his friend. Rintarou didn’t move. He wasn’t looking at Atsumu. So, Atsumu made him look at him, grabbing the collar of his jacket so tight his fingers turned white. Suna gave him a tired glare. And Atsumu saw his suffering inside his pupils, but he was too angry to care.

“How can ya fuckin’ agree with this?!” Miya spat, yanking his friend’s face closer to his. “Yer his fuckin’ boyfriend, Rin. How can ya even think about leavin’ him alone?! Answer me!” he screamed, when the other didn’t answer. Atsumu felt his cheeks getting wet with tears again. 

Rintarou looked at him, his eyes had become empty. “I gave myself a reason. Kita’s right, we can’t take him with us.”

Atsumu pushed him back, making the shorter male stumble. Miya almost snarled. “Bullshits.” he turned towards the door, already making his way to where Osamu was resting. He needed to see his twin. “You don’t fuckin’ deserve him. Yer a piece of shit, Rin.”

  
  
  


He walked through the dim, dark corridors, passing several cells on his way until he stopped in front of one, and pushed the metal barred door open. They didn’t lock it. They didn’t need to, Osamu stayed lying down in the little, shitty bed of the cell, anyway. His twin didn’t react when Atsumu sat on the bed. Osamu’s shirt stuck to his chest with sweat, a huge stain surrounding his collar. The plaster Suna had put on his bite was stained red, and Atsumu could see it was ripping off because of the sweat. Osamu’s skin was almost white so much he was paler than usual. Even in the dark, Atsumu could identify the dark circles under his eyes, even with his eyes closed.

And, looking at his brother, Atsumu realised. Osamu wasn’t doing good at all. It was even a miracle his twin had resisted - survived - all this time. But that didn’t mean Atsumu accepted. Osamu was a piece of shit, but he was a  _ strong  _ piece of shit. It’s him who kicked Atsumu in the ass so he could  _ fuckin’ move before they die right here  _ and they could go search for their friends. It’s Osamu who taught Atsumu how to still get food and water - how to survive - in the forest, where they had been staying for a while. It’s him who carried Atsumu when he thought, after five days, that they’ll never find anyone anyway, so why bother. It’s him who tapped him on the back when they found Rintarou first, and he had cried like a newborn baby. It’s Osamu who saved him a week and a half ago, when he had thought his time had come. 

And now, he was in this state because of Atsumu. Because Atsumu was a coward. Atsumu will have to live with that all his life. With all the guilt he’s the one who made Osamu like that. That he failed as a brother. But, Osamu was strong, so he’ll get over it, right? He’ll leave with them, and they’ll reach the city  _ together _ .

“Yer thinkin’ too loud, I can hear ya,” Osamu said, breaking the silence residing in the cell, and that Atsumu hadn’t broken at first. Atsumu looked at him. Osamu had risen from his lying position and was now sitting, back against the wall. He was looking at his twin, but also not really. Atsumu saw it, his eyes. They weren’t the grey, silver steel color they were before he got bitten. Now, they were a clear crystal blue, almost white. As if the color was draining from his twin’s eyes, rendering him blind. Maybe he was, his gaze was so unfocused Atsumu had trouble knowing if Osamu was even looking at him. “Ya will have to get used to it.”

“What do ya mean get used to it?” Atsumu asked, confused.

“Me not bein’ here anymore,” Osamu answered. “Yer leavin’ tomorrow, focus on that.”

“You know?!”

“Rin told me,” Osamu explained. “He had heard Shinsuke and Aran talkin’ ‘bout it.”

“And yer just chill with that?!” Atsumu was annoyed, how could his twin take the matter so… lightly! “They wan’ to leave ya - even yer own boyfriend - to rot here and you’re just fine with it?”

Osamu chuckled, he was not looking at Atsumu anymore. But at his hand, who had fetched something under his pillow. “It’s for the best and ya know it. I won’t turn like those ugly ass motherfuckers more than I already am,” He lifted his hand in between them. He was holding a gun. “This is my way out.”

“Where the fuck did ya find that?!”

“Had it for a while, found it somewhere in the forest a few days before we found Rin,” he put the gun - a 357 Magnum - down. “Two bullets left. I wanted to use one for Akagi but…” he trailed off, but didn’t finish his sentence. 

Atsumu gulped. This is where they were now. Two bullets left but only one to use. One gets to leave but the other has the burden to stay. 

“This is how it’s going to end, right?” Atsumu uttered huskily. “Yer leavin’ and I stay, no afterthoughts. Not thinkin’ about how I could feel about all of this.”

Osamu nodded, roughly blind gaze indistinct in front of him. Atsumu gritted his teeth.

“What if I don’t want ya to go? What if I want ya to stay?”

“For what?” Osamu countered. “Ya want me to bite your head off so bad?” 

“Just you and me, Samu.”

Osamu shook his head. “Don’t be an idiot, ya know it’s pointless.”

Two bullets left, only one gets to be used. Two twins, only one with tears straining his cheeks as the other blindly ruffled golden strands of hair, unsighted eyes drifting close. The open secret that the sick one only resisted for so long for the sake of the healthy one, and so that he could realize the hopeless end of the situation, remained unspoken.

  
  
  
  


They were outside, in the prison’s court. There were a few walkers coming out of the forest, but - maybe thanks to the early hour - their surroundings were mostly empty. The only groans they could hear were from the ones closer to the wire netting. Shinsuke, Aran, Rintarou and Atsumu were all clothed and armed to the teeth with weapons they found in the armory, and the two backpacks they had - Atsumu and Aran were carrying them - were stocked with food until they could reach the city. Or another place… somewhere. 

Osamu had come outside with them. His body was looking frail in his dirty, dusty and bloody jacket. The color was once burgundy, now it was a hideous shade of dark brown. The sun made his face look even more paler, seeming almost grey, just like his hair. He had trouble keeping his eyes open, as if the sun was too blinding for his dried and bloodshot eyes. His hands were wrapped around him, and Atsumu could see the form of the gun in the pocket of his jacket. He wondered if the others could see it too, see what they were doing to Osamu. He wondered if the gun felt heavy in Osamu’s pocket. He wondered if it’ll feel heavy on the other’s minds and hearts as well.

It was time for goodbyes. Atsumu didn’t want to say goodbye. He didn’t watch when Kita simply nodded at Osamu, and Osamu echoed. He didn’t watch when Aran squeezed Osamu’s shoulder and when his twin’s trembling, almost skinless hand tapped the other man’s arm. He didn’t watch when Rintarou came in front of his boyfriend, didn’t see the look on his face. He didn’t see the tears pooling in his friend’s eyes as he cupped his twin’s face in his hands, and when they shared a silent conversation with their eyes only. He didn’t watch even when he heard his name coming up in their whispered exchanged words. But he watched when he saw blood and dirt stained shoes entering his line of vision. He watched when he lifted his head up and saw that Osamu was now in front of him. He watched even when his sight was blurred because of the tears accumulating in his eyes. But they didn’t fall.

Osamu was truly watching him, not an ounce of absence in his gaze like Atsumu had seen yesterday. Osamu only saw him and Atsumu only saw Osamu. Because that’s what they’ve always been. Osamu and Atsumu. Atsumu and Osamu. Since the beginning. And in a few minutes, it’ll only be Atsumu. Only Atsumu.

“I don’t wan’ to,” he croaked out. His tears were falling now. “Just,” he looked at Aran. “Just let him come with us, we’ll find a way —“

Aran averted his gaze from them, and turned around. Atsumu looked back at Osamu. “Come on ‘Samu, just you and me if we have to —“ 

Osamu shook his head. Just like he did yesterday. And then, it downed on Atsumu. He’ll be alone. Truly alone. No one to make guard with him anymore. No one to share his meal with anymore. No one to banter with. No one to make him feel like he could take on the world anymore. No one he could feel completely safe with anymore. Just Atsumu. No.

“I stay with you, then,”

“Atsumu,” Osamu cut him off. His voice was weak, tired. But his eyes turned softer, sorrowful. “You need to let go.”

And how was he supposed to do that? How was he supposed to let go of the person who’s been on his side his whole life? How was he supposed to let go of a half of him, as if this half had never existed? How was he supposed to let go when his only remaining family was ripped apart from him?

He hadn’t noticed he was getting restless and fidgety, and that he had grabbed the collar of Osamu’s jacket, until Osamu put his hand on the top of his head. He leaned so their forehead were touching - Atsumu could feel the coldness and the sweat on his twin’s forehead. Their silent way of saying  _ I love you.  _ A last goodbye. 

Osamu pulled back, his hand remaining on his brother’s head. Atsumu’s grip on the jacket loosened, though the fabric was still grasped in his hands, not ready to let go yet. Osamu smiled.

“You win, ‘Tsumu.” he took a step back, making Atsumu lose the grip he had on him. “The happier life, you win.”

The blonde twin could only utter a “What?” as his twin was drifting further away. It’s only at this moment Atsumu realized Osamu had stopped walking back, and he was the one moving. Rintarou and Aran were pulling him to the prison’s exit, through the wire fence, where Shinsuke already was, sliding it open for them. Atsumu started to struggle but his friends’ grip on him was too tight, he could only watch as Osamu looked at them, one last time, before turning around.

“Let go of me!” 

“Shut your fucking mouth and fucking walk, Atsumu!” Suna snarled, turning Atsumu so he was facing the forest instead of the prison behind them. His grip was painful. It didn’t stop Atsumu from trying to break free, though. But then, Aran’s grip tightened as well, and he was completely trapped. 

But when a gunshot was heard, Atsumu freezed, making his friend’s grip on him loosened. His eyes were wide, it was starting to hurt. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His lungs stopped at the same time the shot resounded. His eyes were starting to sting as he turned around, towards the prison. It all unlocked when Aran’s arms stopped him from walking - running - back. His tears, and his scream. Just like the gunshot before, his scream, agonizing, like a wounded animal, echoed around them. He kept screaming, until his voice turned hoarse, until he couldn’t scream anymore.

He was alone. His other half has been ripped off him. Osamu was gone, Atsumu stayed.

Atsumu didn’t win. He didn’t win the happier life. How could he when he was stuck here, alone?

Osamu was smiling, a rotten wound near his neck and a bullet in his head, while Atsumu was screaming and crying in agony, only being able to keep standing because of the arms that were supporting him.

So, who really wins?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! \o/ 
> 
> Comments and kudos are my serotonin boost!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/bokutowantsyou)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/bokutowantsyou)  
> 


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